Defining desire in a relationship with another person is a complex matter : the subtleness of the « desires » concerned (emotional, amorous, sexual) come together and culminate in the manifestation of  urge (solely sexual), which is more animal, more a kind of drive, but also more short-lived, once it has been satisfied.

DESIRE and URGE can be likened to twins, that are identical only in appearance, which often leads to confusion in emotional relationships. For young men, who have frequent urges, it is not easy to sort out these mixed emotions. It takes a lot of time to identify what moves and motivates us. The ideal situation would be for all these emotions to be harmoniously intertwined, which is far from being systematically the case.
 

DESIRE cannot be taken for granted, it is not permanent, it needs to be nourished and maintained.

A momentary ABSENCE OF DESIRE OR DROP IN LIBIDO is not worrying to the extent it may be due to personal circumstances and therefore reactional. If, on the contrary, it becomes more permanent, it is important to consider an andrological assessment combined with a measurement of bio-available testosterone, which may point to an organic cause. However, psychogenic causes are so often involved that a sexological evaluation is also necessary.
Trying doggedly to bring back desire while ignoring the invisible meaning of this « symptom » is thus a mistake which may make things worse, trigger a feeling of failure and emotional pressure.
In the event of an INCREASE IN DESIRE OR HYPERSEXUALITY, the same protocol should be envisaged.

 

DESIRE is born of EMOTION, SEXUAL URGE is born of AROUSAL.